Find You On My Knees

by Jenene Stafford

I felt like I hit rock bottom this morning in my journey to find God’s purpose.

How could it possibly be fulfilled in the midst of the challenges of my life? I am apparently lacking faith in this very annoying and hormonal season of life. Yuck!

Sometimes God is very direct, but vague. I am constantly left with more questions. I despise my “control freak” limitations. I imagine myself annoyingly saying to God, “Could you give me a little more to go on please?”

God, being the gracious God He is gave me an answer this morning.

But, the answer didn’t look the way I thought it would look. It was more like, “No, I’m not going to give you a little more to go on so get over yourself, I have everything under control.”

Notice, He said, I have everything under control, implying that I don’t. That’s not too hard to figure out! I cannot believe what a failure He is having me be. It’s been said that most people fear success. Not me, I fear failure. In fact, I downright hate it. Basically my personality is being destroyed in the midst of it.

Imagine that! God is changing my natural personality. Transformation is painful. Now I have to trust that something beautiful is going to come out on the other side. Right now it feels ugly.

I just want to say, “God, if you tell me what the point is, it would move things along a little faster.” See, I even want to tell God how to do His job.

I didn’t realize it, but my focus gets off of God sometimes during the journey of discovering what’s next. My determination can become to find the answers to all of my questions instead of the desire of my heart being to know God’s will for today.

I hope you get a good laugh at this and I’m sure some of you ladies can totally relate. The journey is seriously challenging and the answers are found on our knees. We have to hold on to His Word and forget all that comes against His plan, including our own voice and our own plans.

Jer. 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

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